I truly cannot believe it's been 3 years today since Chris went to heaven. Sometimes it seems like it was longer, and other times, it feels like it just happened. 

Since we are not able to gather, I decided to invite several friends to a zoom meeting to have a brief toast to Chris. I opened up a 2014 Pritchard Hill Cabernet Sauvignon from Chappellet Vineyards. It was a favorite of Chris and I's. I also made lamb for dinner. 

I'm so grateful for those that were able to attend, even those that were not able to make it... I know you were all there in spirit. I was able to gather a lot of pictures of our history, so here are some of the  photos.... 

Continue to rest in peace, Chris. 

The week of Chris' 40th birthday, I traveled to Cambria. I know that spiritually, he is always around, but I wanted to be in the last physical location where I spread his ashes. I drove up there on Wednesday and met up with my good friend Laurie Island (that's not really her last name); she was my cabin mate during my trip to Antarctica.  She drove down from SF, and I drove up from LA. We were wearing our masks the whole time and we even brought our own food for a few days so we wouldn't have to eat out. We enjoyed the sights and had the opportunity to walk around the town, and even visit the sea lions up north in San Simeon. Laurie had never been to Cambria so I was super happy to show her around. 

Laurie and I had a great time visiting all the sights, including Nitt Witt Ridge! On Friday, Laurie was headed to San Luis Obispo, and I was going back home to LA. First, I went to where I last spread Chris' ashes and I sat there with him. I told him I was ready to move forward. No longer as a wife, nor a widow, just single me. I felt as if Chris gave me his blessing, and I allowed the tears to flow. I said goodbye and headed home. 

Today is September 11th. Chris LOVED his country! Every year on this date, he was extremely reflective of the events that took place. He was always moved by stories of compassion and heroism in the middle of devastating acts. We both made time to reflect and talk about this day in our lives. 

Tomorrow is September 12th, and it is a dual anniversary. Chris and I met on September 12, 2012, and he proposed on September 12, 2013. I am grateful to be in a place where I can look back and smile, and not feel pain or heartbreak. I can close my eyes and see his smiling face the first time we met. And I can close my eyes and see him bending on one knee ready to propose. I am a very blessed woman.