One Year Later

Yesterday was one year since Chris went to heaven. I have had a chance to reflect in the past year and see so much change and movement. Chris wanted me to move forward and live a full, happy life. He said I would be honoring him by doing so. I am so grateful to have had such a selfless, courageous husband.

On Tuesday, I drove up to Sacramento. I had a great date night and slept. Wednesday morning I woke up and met with my old friend Karla. We walked to the police memorial at the state capitol and I discretely spread some ashes in the center area.

Karla and I walked to a nice little local place for breakfast where they had challah French toast, Chris’s favorite. I ordered the French toast and it was delicious!

After breakfast, we said our goodbyes and I drove to the CHP Academy. I went to the main administration building and went to where all the class plaques are located. I took several pictures of Chris’s class plaque. I also went to the store and bought myself a CHP blouse. As I walked outside, I took Chris’s ashes in my hand and slowly let them go in a beautiful green area as I walked around. I took my time since I knew it would likely be the last time I would be there.

I sat in my car and cried. I wished I had someone there to lend a shoulder. I began my six hour drive home and replayed the details of that day a year ago. At every hour that passed I remembered exactly what I was doing a year ago.

I’m grateful for the people that reached out to me yesterday. And more so for being with me through every step of this journey. Thank you.